Welcome back to the Refresh Series- a series of posts to refresh and encourage us in motherhood- whether we are in the middle of one season or beginning a new one.
Is anyone else guilty of always looking forward to the next thing that will happen or stage that your little one reach, or looking back with nostalgia to the days gone by? It can be really hard to love the here and now when it seems like other people are doing more exciting or glamorous things- or if change is on the horizon or life looks like it will never be different and you feel a bit stuck.
Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side?
The truth is that the grass is always greener where you water it. This can apply to so many areas of life. There are often painful, difficult or challenging times that we walk through- but we can still choose to approach them with grace and hope to grow and learn even through the trials.
What would it look like for us to truly cultivate our lives in the season of motherhood that we are in?
How can we throw aside the things that prevent us from loving the here and now?
Do we have expectations for ourselves which just aren’t realistic for where we are at?
Are we living with no purpose beyond surviving day to day?
Can we embrace the lives and the seasons we are in right now?
Motherhood can be so full on that there’s not much headspace left to think about these things, but here are some ways to start digging into and savouring this season of motherhood, whatever it is, whether it’s unexpected or not.
Step six: define your season
We touched briefly on this in part one where we named our season- even if it’s just ‘Winter’, recognising that these days won’t last forever is both encouraging and sobering, depending on what your life looks like right now!
So whatever you want to call it- think about what is unique to the stage of life you’re in at the moment, and what the next few months will look like. For me that’s the stages our little ones are in in terms of where they are each day, and which days we are all at home. My husband’s work hours, the winter weather, all of these things affect what our season will look like and the expectations and hopes I can realistically work towards.
Write down all the characteristics of your season- and think about how these things affect your everyday life and what can help you to grow.
Step seven: Make your bucket list for this season
Things as simple as a walk in the woods can be high on our bucket list!
Even if it only contains two or three things- if you’re in a foggy season of newborn snuggles- or really simple things that you know you can manage, it’s so good to have a visible list of things you want to do in the next few months. Having a list of fun things to do, memories to make and experiences to have together helps us to not only do the necessary parts of life as a mama but to invest in connecting with our children and sharing quality time together. From baking something simple to big day trips that you keep putting off, decide what will work for your family right now and prioritise the things you know you can all do and really love together.
It can be discouraging to make a huge list of things to do and then to not manage to do many of them- so choose what to write down wisely. If it helps, have another list of ‘not yet’, of things that you’d love to do with your children when they are older, or when the weather is warmer, or whatever it is that means it’s not right for this particular season.
If you want a printable to have this up somewhere visible you can download this autumn/ winter wellbeing plan in the resources section. Mine is in the kitchen and helps me to stay grounded in the midst of the chaos of meal making!
Put your list up somewhere visible or mark the page in your journal with a bookmark- and plan ahead what you can now to make sure you actually do make time in the busyness that life can be. Make sure to check in on it when you have a free weekend or afternoon, as it’s bound to give you inspiration if you’re not sure what to do next.
Savouring the season we are in as mothers is one of the hardest and yet most joyful things, when we can find ways to do it well. I am so guilty of being distracted or looking forward to the next thing, but right now is where the magic is. These are the days, and I know I want to truly live them whatever my season of motherhood.
Let me know what your bucket list items are in the comments! I’d love to read them and I’m sure we can all get some ideas from each other too.
Don’t forget you can get free shipping with the code FREESHIP! Make sure you’re feeling refreshed all year with a self care calendar and year long journal to give you mental space through the changing seasons of motherhood. Come back tomorrow for Part Four of our series!