Welcome back to the Refresh Series- a series of posts to refresh and encourage us in motherhood- whether we are in the middle of one season or beginning a new one.
So far we have taken stock, reflected on our little ones and dug into defining our season. Today is about finding focus in the midst of everything that motherhood can throw at us.
It’s not too hard to daily feel overwhelmed by the necessary things of motherhood- all the caring aspects of feeding people, keeping on top of paperwork, clothing, playing with them and reading stories. Then on top of that are all the things that society tells us we ‘should’ do to be perfect parents, all the invisible standards that we can hold ourselves to even though it’s best just to mother in the way that works for us and our family.
We need to have ways to focus on what matters to us and our family, and not things that are unattainable standards that we’ve gathered from other places. As the new year dawns we have been barraged by advice on being a better person, healthier, brighter, lighter- I’m still wrestling with myself with the desire to make goals and resolutions but knowing that anything I choose for my life needs to be manageable, realistic focuses that are actually going to bring life and help us to grow towards the things that matter.
Step 7 – take a look at your day to day
Write down (if you haven’t already done somewhere!) what your usual weekly rhythms are. Don’t focus too much on the minutiae- but get down places you might go to, groups you visit, or after school activities that reoccur. If you have a really unpredictable life with shifts and that kind of thing, I can empathise with my husband’s work schedule always being up in the air. But as much as I can it’s helpful to know what our weeks usually look like, and our little ones love having a sense of what is going on too.
Rhythms are my favourite thing- they reduce my decision fatigue if we have a pattern to our week, and yet I have the flexibility to change things up where possible, if it’s going to work better that week when things aren’t tied down to a certain schedule.
Step 8 – choose areas to focus on
Remembering what your season is and what is most important right now, choose some areas that you can focus on in the coming months. I try to keep this as simple as possible so that I actually manage to remember it!
Think through different areas of your life and motherhood- and don’t forget to keep the big picture in mind when it comes to these.
I like to break it down to six different areas to make it easy to work out what to prioritise in this season.
At home– within our four walls, what do we want to focus on? Whether a tangible project you want to tackle or habits to work on like ours.
People– those in our community and family to reach out to.
Teaching– whether that’s homework, sharing skills or areas of training our little ones, it’s hard to do it all at once so chose an area or two to work on particularly right now.
Health– of our family but also ourselves. Exercise, food, mental health, all really important to remember. I love having one area to set good habits up in before working on another.
Mama time– whether alone or with friends we need to recharge and do things that give us life so that we can pour out to others. Writing this down helps us to remember to make time for it!
A challenge– something to push us outside our comfort zone, or a challenge that we are facing that we want to work through.
I have found making a few focuses for this particular time really helpful. Stick them up somewhere visible or have a chance to remind yourself of all these important things in the Mama Book calendar – free shipping with code FREESHIP! – which has a section so that each month you can refresh your focuses and remember on the big picture everyday.
Tomorrow’s post will be the final instalment in the series and will help us take our focuses and turn them into actionable steps to add to our calendars and create new habits from, so check back for that or find The Mama Book on Facebook or Instagram.
Grab a calendar (on sale!) to keep your focuses, self care priorities and joy front and centre as you go about your days. Even if you already have a big family calendar this is perfect to keep track of birthdays or school holidays whilst also having places for reflection and planning for you as a mama. Don’t forget your free shipping code – FREESHIP for free UK postage.