The Mama Book

Yearly journal, mental space and encouragement in motherhood in The Mama Book | mum journal, journal for moms

Preparing mentally for a new baby

Baby is (hopefully) just around the corner over here, and these weeks, months of preparation will soon be forgotten in a blur of feeding and sleeping and all those newborn things. I’ve done this before and yet I still wanted to make sure I prepared not only physically- our home- but also mentally. The sleep deprived fog can make it hard to think clearly and I know that if I can set some things in place now then hopefully the next few months will run smoother mentally as well as practically!

Here are some ways I have personally prepared myself mentally for the arrival of a new little person!

processing big changes in a new season

Lowered my expectations whilst also remembering that I am capable of doing things. Keeping things simple and making things easy with meal plans/ freezer food and knowing that I’ll need to ask people for help as we adjust is really handy. Mentally knowing that people have offered to help and reminding me that I can and will ask for that help means I don’t put so much pressure on myself to feel like I can ‘do it all’. Remembering that I can’t do it all in any season – no one can- is also really important, and knowing which things are the priority in this stage.

Made a ‘good things’ list. I have made a list of things that make me feel like me/ things I enjoy doing. It’s too easy to prioritise the needs around, my need for sleep, and the urgent things and to forget little things that can make a big difference even though they feel frivolous or unimportant at times. Some are simple, like being outside, putting on music, others are things like having time alone or chatting to a friend that mean a bit more forward thinking.

Stuck up encouraging postcards, verses and sayings- remembering the importance of replacing negative thoughts with truth means I want to have the truth to hand to remind myself of. The depths of sleep deprivation can be a strange place to be in, and having Bible verses to remind me of my true perspective and purpose, encouragements and lists of things that make me feel like me are things that should be helpful to my mind in the next few months.

Got my journal to hand- honestly I don’t always remember to write in it each week any more but with a new baby and super tiredness I know that making the choice to daily or weekly focus on the positives and take some time to reflect and think objectively about this season is so so important. A lot will change and in many ways it’s just great to have a written record of our littles because so many things slip into memory without us realising.
Closed my shop (both Zoeprose and the Mama Book) – whilst this is a practical thing on some levels, like stocking the freezer or getting out the baby clothes, in reality I have done it so that that side of my brain gets a break and I can switch off and concentrate on adjusting to family life with four little people without having it in the back of my mind. When our third was born I didn’t immediately shut up, but when I did the relief was immense and unexpected! I really relished having some mental space freed up and also found that it opened up new parts of creativity and ideas I wouldn’t have had capacity for before that.

Set some simple goals for the summer and some others for September when baby is a bit older and school starts back. Nothing complicated, but having a few things in mind that don’t just revolve around eating/ sleeping schedules always really helps me and prevents that drift through the weeks where time goes somewhere but you don’t know where. Setting simple achievable things helps to prevent the days blurring together and losing all sense of purpose!

Have people ready to listen- because I’ve found it difficult after babies before, midwives and other health professionals are aware and already in place and checking up on things. We have a maternal support worker who has come over just to chat and check in a couple of times and so I know where to go if things are getting foggy again!

If you have other things that have helped you prepare mentally I would love to hear!

Finding mental space with poorly children

Whether you have a newborn screaming with colic or a child off school sick, having a little one who isn’t one hundred percent around you and needing you constantly presents challenges for us looking after ourselves and finding some mental space.

Often we are woken in the night, wanted for cuddles, comfort and drinks all times in the day or we are trying to get everyone out to see the doctor or pharmacist. Whether it’s something brief but nasty or more long term we are likely to be worrying, meeting lots of extra needs and probably sleep deprived.

How do we find breathing room in the middle of it all, when we might be wanted at any minute? How do we prevent ourselves from getting cabin fever as our world shrinks to our house, our room, our child? How do we maintain perspective and find ways to fight for joy and connect with our little ones in this tough time? It seems like so many of us have been hit by bug after bug this winter- and while Spring is on its way it’s nice to remember some ways to make this time a little easier. 

mental space in illness
Get a change of scene

If you can’t get out of the house because your little ones are ill, or because of risk of infection, staying in the same four walls can easily drain you. Trying to get out just for a quick walk around the neighbourhood when someone can take over for five minutes is really useful, or pack everyone in the car, drinks and blankets and all, just to drive around a little so that you can look at something other than your house for a short while. A change is as good as a rest, as they say!

Prioritise it when there’s a break

Jobs easily pile up when you have someone who is poorly- and we can feel like there is so much to catch up on when we finally get a minutes. More important, though, is to make sure we are in a position to continue serving. When they are asleep or in bed, making sure we take a little bit of time for some peace and quiet is really important- no matter how urgent the jobs seem to be. I know if I take that five minutes and then get on with things it’s much better than always pushing it to ‘later’ which often never comes. 

Treat yourself

Think of some simple way to treat yourself as something to look forward to at the end of the day- be that a pleasurable activity or just a sweet treat to have as a reward of kind! If your treat is five minutes in a dark room with no body talking to or touching you then so be it! 

Reach out

Ask someone to pick your other children up from school, see if someone (who isn’t at risk of getting the illness!) to come over so you can shower and be alone for ten minutes, see if someone can double up their food so you’re not trying to get lots done whilst someone is calling for you from the sofa! It can be so hard to ask for help in a society that is all about how much we as individuals should be able to manage but it’s such a blessing to receive help from friends as it is to give help to those we love. 

Have a chat

Find a friend or family member to phone and have a chat with- if you’re short on adult interaction face to face, find ways to make sure you’re expanding your mind beyond just your house and immediate family. Another perspective and a laugh with someone else can do wonders.

Spring sunshine and fewer germs lurking around will hopefully help many of us with illnesses in our homes but hopefully when you are hit with a bug in your little ones you’ll be able to prioritise your mental space to make it a little easier, until it passes.

Why a journal?

The Mama Book is over a year old now- but it was born far before that, in a moment when desperate to get rid of the thoughts crowding my mind, that I never had time to properly processs, I grabbed an empty notebook and began filling in titles, pages, things I knew I needed to work through and process. The journal took time to develop, to be shared with others and flesh out- and it has been in the world for over a year in its current form.

the mama book | yearly journal, gift for mom, new mom journal gift

Why a journal?

Writing is significant

There is something unique about writing something with your own handwriting, down on paper, that gets thoughts out of your head and allows you to process, reflect and remember them differently to those that are typed or thoughts held.

Frees up space in your head

Giving yourself permission to write down and reflect on motherhood- as a whole, or the minutae or your day, allows your brain a bit more space for other things. Instead of having a load of thoughts that are half formed, waiting for a time when you might be able to come back and address them, journaling gives those things permission and space to breathe- in turn giving your brain a bit of mental space too.

Gives you a physical space to process motherhood

So much of motherhood is intangible- the love and care, the concern about decisions, friendships, development. We do daily tasks which are repeated over and over and rarely have anything to show for our efforts- except that our children are still alive! Having a journal gives us a physical space to process the immensity and the joy of motherhood. Whether you’re having the best family day or just clinging on, you can sit, pause and reflect on the good and the bad, with a physical place to leave all those thoughts. I know that writing things down helps me sleep so much better, as my brain isn’t trying to hold onto things.

#mamatakesfive

Less overwhelming than a blank page

I love to write and process but I barely did any during those early years with babies and toddlers- until my third child was born. The blank page was overwhelming- or I would just write about my struggles. It helped, but I realised I needed a space with more structure and promots to keep me focused on the good things, a way to think helpfully about the challenges and to reflect and plan on each season. The way The Mama Book is set out means that each section has prompts, questions or titles so it’s not just a blank baby book or journal for you to have to write reams of words in. With big picture pages to help you process the bigger things of motherhood, and season refresh planning and reflection pages, you won’t be sat staring at an empty page wondering whether to write ‘dear Diary’ as if you were an awkward preteen again!

It’s a tangible keepsake with a year of growth, joys and life as a mama

The sweetest thing is taking time to look back at a year well lived, with different seasons of motherhood flitting past us, sometimes. Having a journal with so many sweet snippets of life with my little ones, reflections on what they are like at different ages, and lessons I have learned through mothering that year has been so good for me. It’s not always pretty, there are struggles as well as pages and pages of joys- but each journal tells a story of a year lived with love and intention through that stage of mothering.

It’s always fun to have pretty notebooks and stationery- but this is more than just paper, it’s an invitation to give yourself some breathing room. Find journals in the shop here. 

 

Mama Takes Five- What and When?

Last week we began #mamatakesfive – five minutes each day to take a little breathing room and do something that helps us to rest and reflect for the sake of our mental wellbeing. No screens, no distractions- you can read more about that here.

What I know is that unless you know exactly what you will do when your five minutes come along you can miss your chance without making the most of it.

5 times and ways to take five

So here are 5 things you can do and 5 times you can take do so.

Things you could do in your five minutes
  1. Take a walk in the fresh air on your own
  2. Sit in quiet and enjoy having no technology, to do lists or people needing your attention.
  3. Write down your joys from the day/ week.
  4. Read something inspiring.
  5. Do a brain dump- just write down all the things that are rolling around in your head.
Times to take five
  1. Before your feet hit the floor in the morning- waking a few minutes before your little ones is hard but great when it works.
  2. A few moments while your children play happily. (Until they need you again!)
  3. Naptime. It’s so easy to rush around or vegetate with something easy- but taking a bit of intentional refreshing time is really good.
  4. Transitioning between kids bedtime and your evening. I love to spend a few minutes sitting in quiet in my room before I go downstairs to commence tidying or whatever is next.
  5. Before your head hits the pillow- reflecting on your day, making plans for the next one and remembering the highs and lows.

Trying to be consistent with taking just five or ten minutes a day to do something like this can make a big difference. When I started doing it, I had actually taken time like this but hadn’t noticed it or realised I did have some space in my day that I hadn’t acknowledged previously. When our mindset shifts it can affect the rest of our actions that flow from it.

Take a photo of your spot for #mamatakesfive and share it with us on facebook or instagram– encouraging others to do the same could have such a positive effect on so many mamas, new or seasoned, and so many others through that. You matter, your mental space matters, and you can take a bit of time to take five.

PS. Don’t forget journals are on sale this week with code MAMATAKESFIVE!

The Art of Mental Space in Motherhood

Mental space in motherhood is an art form, I am finding. The act of taking some breathing room in what is a joy filled, yet full and busy life isn’t a formula that you can tick through. Taking care of yourself and others, balancing all the things, and feeling content requires creativity, patience and practice.

 Just as motherhood is an art, not a science, there there is an art form to finding the time and space needed to be able to thrive as a mother. Rules and routines only go so far when you are taking care of something so important- and knowing yourself and the ways you flourish is also key.
purpose in motherhood- mama mission, the mama book

 

I have discovered through walking through early motherhood and growing from one child to three – looking after your mental space as a mother is essential in ways that are not tangible. Seasons where I did not recognise my need for some of these pauses were difficult in ways I was unable to recognise at the time. I was struggling to savour the everyday, and wondering what the right way, my way to mother was. If I could go back and give my young mama self some advice about finding breathing room in the overwhelming beauty of motherhood – I would tell her this.

 1. Learn as you go

Just as in art you have to push boundaries and try different things to find your style and know yourself better, in motherhood paying attention to what works and what doesn’t work for you and your family is important. Are you filling all ‘free’ time with the voices of the internet, the tv, or other people? Get to know yourself and what works for you better by paying attention to what you’re doing. When you take time for recharging or stopping, which activities or places or ways work? Our children are constantly growing and learning, and so are we along with them.

2. Be patient

With yourself and with your little ones. Motherhood has some difficult expectations and narratives surrounding it- be that in society, our own heads, or in the media. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, and allow yourself some rest time- proper rest time. Be patient with your little ones (if they’re tiny especially), they need you and love you, and one day you’ll miss them and the associated lack of physical and mental space! It has taken years for some of the greatest masterpieces to be made- don’t expect yourself to be perfect overnight (or ever!). Give yourself grace.

3. Be creative

I have found that setting aside small chunks of time for quiet and time out without the needs of small people fills me up and helps me to pour out more willingly in the beautiful task of motherhood- but you have to be creative about it. Expecting your foolproof routine to give you an hour of solitude will only get you so far- it may be many hours before you get the long break you crave. Snatch a few minutes here and there when you can, and instead of turning to social media or other easy fixes- protect that quiet and that peace in your mind. Whether you journal, read, go for a walk, or just stare at the ceiling for a few moments- be creative about what a little breathing room looks like for you.

4. Practise it

Like so many things, it takes making a new habit for something to start making a deep and lasting impact on you and your wellbeing. Daily art habits build up skills and make a difference just as practising self care does, Five minutes of time reflecting or doing something that fills you up everyday is much better than an hour once a week. Taking a few minutes before sleeping just to note down positives of the day and reflect on any challenges and growth gives my mind peace and the next day purpose. Some weeks are different- as the ebb and flow of mothering demands- and I will sit for longer looking back on the week and forward to the next season that we are entering into as a family, but having those small daily practises in place are so helpful.

5. Have fun!

The value of play and doing things that we truly enjoy can be forgotten in motherhood a little as we seek to love our children and help them with their interests. Find ways to have fun, refresh yourself and recharge for mothering. Do something out of the ordinary – trying something new is great for your mind just as a new technique or material can help combat creative block. You might find you have a whole new attitude to something unexpected.

The Mama Book | year long journal for motherhood

The art of mental space in motherhood is something you can grow into, nurture and cultivate in your life, with freedom of expression. It is more important than you may ever realise to prioritise something so intangible. Art and beauty are not basic human needs for survival but they impact our quality of life so much – a purely functional life would only bring you so much contentment without any beauty or form in it. And likewise a seemingly intangible thing like mental space can be easy to forget the importance of – but it’s key to our flourishing as mothers and helping those around us to flourish too.

#mamatakesfive | Maternal Mental Health Matters

Next week is maternal mental health matters week. A chance to raise awareness of the importance of maternal mental health and the wonderful support and resources that are available. It’s so good to see mental health being talked increasingly in the media- as one of those unseen things in life it is crucial as so much of it is hidden.

Motherhood is amazing, hard, beautiful, difficult and such a mixture of emotions and experiences. We are needed, filled with love and our identity can be questioned as we transition into a new role or add children to the family. Life can just be busy- with good, normal, everyday things.

When I look back to the seasons when I felt most overwhelmed by motherhood, the thing I needed most (but didn’t realise) was to take a little bit of time regularly to process and reflect. Instead, all the struggles, thoughts, joys, expectations and confusions were stored in my head for later, quickly becoming as overwhelming as all the needs in front of me. Because I wasn’t allowing myself enough reflection or processing time I was completely unaware of my own struggles with postnatal depression. Only in retrospect when I finally realised what was going on, the darkness I was in, could I realise that I had already walked through this before. When we allow daily life and all the things that need doing to take over, it is easy for our being to become consumed and confused.

Sometimes we need to take five.

#mamatakesfive for maternal mental health matters week

It is easy for us to spend twenty minutes scrolling social media, an hour watching tv, and mindlessly switching off, but it can be so hard to allow ourselves some real time out. It is hard to give ourselves permission to truly rest, refresh or to know what that even looks like. I found that doing a little bit at a time made a huge difference to my mental wellbeing. Being better aware of my joys and challenges, my thoughts and things I was learning took me step by step into a lighter place. I just wish I had given myself the same time and breathing room when I first became a mother.

Going through those overwhelming seasons and realising that I hadn’t allowed myself the mental space to process motherhood or reflect on my mental health is what prompted me to make The Mama Book. It gave me permission, a place and prompts to give myself those five minutes on a daily basis and save everything from getting caught up in my head. It daily gives me a way to take a bit of time to take stock and prioritise my mental wellbeing.

So to help raise awareness of maternal mental health and the importance of spending time processing life and motherhood we will be launching the #mamatakesfive initiative.

#mamatakesfive for maternal mental health matters week

The idea is simple-

  1. Take five minutes in your day for yourself. Whether that is lying on your bed in silence, doing something that fills you up or spending some time writing down your highs and lows from the day. Something that gives you a five minute mental break.
  2. Post a photo of your five minutes on social media. It can be your face or what you’re doing.
  3. Use the #mamatakesfive hashtag and encourage others to join in with taking five minutes out of their day. You can also use #maternalMHmatters to join in the week’s hashtag.

You can choose to post your five minutes each day during the week, or any time when you are taking some time our to refresh and regroup to encourage other mamas to be honest with their own mental health and take five.

The tide of mental health conversation is changing. There is no shame, no need to hide or assume. We spend so much time taking care of our bodies with food, clothing, exercise, showering, and we need to take care of our minds too. We are whole people, mothers who need to take care of our selves and our own mental health for our own sake and for the sake of all those who we love around us and their wellbeing. So go and take five.

Challenges in motherhood

Challenges in motherhood come up all the time. From small things to big things, from feeding a baby to managing challenging behaviour in an older child and later emotional developments and boundaries with teenagers- there are always going to be challenges and things that take us unawares as we go through motherhood and our children grow older. As we adapt to the different stages of mothering, challenges come up that are more related to ourselves than to our children, we can experience things like postnatal depression, fear about the future or other health issues that affect our life and our parenting.

In fact, challenges in life are unfortunately inevitable as long as the world is broken- and it’s worth spending a bit of time and energy thinking about how we approach challenges in parenting and the rest of our life, and how our attitudes affect the way we tackle things.

In the moment-

If you’re caught in a tricky situation and emotions and tempers are rising, making sure you can stop, and breathe and try to think clearly is important (but hard, I know!). It’s fine to take yourself to another room to breathe for a few minutes or put something on the tv or get them engaged in a game so you can stop and reflect for a minute in peace. You need to let some more oxygen get to your brain so that you can stop and try to think clearly!

Identify your thoughts in those moments and try to work out whether you are having negative thoughts that are making the challenge because of the way you’re letting it affect you. Replacing the tired cries of our hearts, which can be that we are too tired, fed up of certain behaviour or that we can’t do it any more, with truth about who we are and the truth that our children are children and just like us can’t be perfect.

Recognising the challenge

A really important early step is knowing what the challenge is that you are dealing with. This can be easy or incredibly difficult, depending on whether you are dealing with smaller issues getting your child dressed or battling through things in your own mind. It can be helpful to have a time to reflect on your day, week, or month, and see which smaller and larger challenges keep occurring. The challenges section in The Mama Book is designed for reflection and writing down these things.

If you are repeatedly finding a certain time of day stressful, that is a good thing to take a note of and have some time to think about reasons why that time is causing difficulties for you or making your children act a certain way. Sometime it just takes stepping back a bit to see simple changes we can put into place to make life a bit simpler and smoother.

Zoom out-

It’s so easy to get really wrapped up in the details of a problem or challenge, and it can take over when we spend lots of time thinking about it. We easily get overwhelmed and wrapped up in our own lives, but taking time to zoom out and see the rest of the world around you helps us to get a right persecutive.

A good way to do this is to think about what you would say to a friend who was sharing a challenge like this with you. Take a pause, a deep breath, and try to look at it objectively (as hard as that is!) and work out what you’d say to your best friend. It’s unlikely that you’d be unkind or blame them. The negative self talk that can go on in our heads is more obvious when we stop and talk as though we were talking to a friend.

Seek advice-

On the note of friends- it is really good to be able to find find a woman or two who is a bit further along in motherhood who you can confide in and ask, who has a bit more perspective on the stage you’re in. If you are tackling something scenic you know that that person has been through themselves, even better. Remember that you only need a few folk whose advice you really trust, whether thats through books or articles or real life. There is no right way to do all of these things, but there is a way that will work for you, so don’t worry about pleasing everyone, just finding your way.

Some folk are able to have formal mentor relationships with those around them but even having a coffee every so often with someone else can be such a helpful time to discuss things, share your concerns and have someone come alongside you in harder things. Even if the best she can do is to tell you that it won’t kill you, or your children- you know that it will pass and you will survive. Toddler years are tough- and knowing that you’ll make it to a point where your child can communicate without feeling like needing to lie down and scream can be encouraging!

Get support

If you need more sleep, advice from those around you or to find a good book on a certain topic, reach out and find it. If no one is offering to help, be honest and work out what you need. If you are struggling through something big like a bereavement, illness, or mental health issues, find those who want to support you, and accept help when others ask. Find a kind health visitor or children centre worker to chat to, approach your doctor, just to see what the options are, even if you’re not sure you need them. Sharing your challenges with others allows them to share their burdens with you and in turn everyone finds their loads lifting.

Whether we face challenges that seem big or small, we are not alone. Everyone has their struggles of different degrees at different times, and everyone feels like motherhood is overwhelming at times.

You do not have to do this alone. You do not have to do this perfectly. You do not have to have everything together, and even if it seems like everyone else does, they don’t.

Let someone in, share your experiences and in turn you will be lifting them as you go. You don’t have to struggle through and work it all out on your own, and this too shall pass.

 

Mama time- an interview with Ruth

Today is the beginning of a new series, Mama Time- which is a chance to have a virtual sit down and chat with another mama, share thoughts and reflections on motherhood and mental space. I am looking forward to sharing lots of different mamas and the variety that motherhood has for us.

Today I am happy to be chatting with Ruth of Rejoicing Heart, a lady who has become a sweet friend online.

Hello! It’s so lovely to have you here. Can you introduce us a little to you and your family?
Hello, I’m Ruth, I’m a Christian and married to my soul mate Pete. By background I’m a Speech and Language Therapist working with acutely unwell adults , but now I’m a full time Mummy to a beautiful, bouncy boy who will be 3 very soon. We also have a second precious baby who lives in heaven. In my spare time I love to cook, bake, sing, read, spend time outdoors and hand letter.

What things (big or small) do you love about life and motherhood right now?
My little boy is such a chatterbox, he makes us smile every day and has been a ray of sunshine on those darker days we’ve had since we miscarried our second child. At the moment we are finding gratitude in the small things that before we may have missed or taken for granted.

Motherhood has for me been such a big learning curve! Can you share one thing that motherhood has taught you about yourself (so far!) ?
How much I need Jesus in my life!! I need Him every hour!! There’s so many flaws I’ve seen in myself since becoming a mother, humbling me and reminding me of my daily need to seek His forgiveness, help and strength. Yet, also I’ve known a great liberty and joy in humbling myself and asking Him to work in and through me. It’s amazing to know that God is at work in us if we are true believers and that every season has a purpose and isn’t wasted.

How have you seen the harder parts of motherhood impact you?
The harder parts of motherhood have always brought me to my knees and back to Jesus. So often I’ve tried to fix the hard things myself, googling, strategising, planning …. I’ve not let God be God, but rather have tried to be God myself. Hannah Anderson calls this the “messiah complex” in her brilliant book “Humble Roots“. She helpfully points out that when we set ourselves in God’s place we only “reap stress, restlessness and anxiety”.

I really love that book too. If you could go back in time, what advice would you love to give your young mama self?
God first, every day. Be in the Word, fill your mind with the truth of the Word, so that you can speak truth to yourself. Close your day with God, remembering He sees you and smiles as He sees you in Christ!

What fills you up ready for another day (or hour!) of motherhood?
Prioritising reading the Bible . Being connected to God through the day , audio scripture , podcasts, Christian music and being out and about in nature.

And finally, how do you find breathing room in motherhood?
Getting outside into the beautiful world God has made. My little boy and I love talking about what we are enjoying in Creation. So, for example he often tells me how beautiful the trees are or asks me to listen to the birds as they sing praise to God. Being outdoors and praising God for His Creation really helps me to reset and focus on the eternal. It revitalises me in so many ways and encourages me to keep pressing on towards Heaven!

Thanks so much for your time and insights into what motherhood means to you, Ruth! You can find Ruth and her encouragements on instagram.

 

Refresh Series- Part 3: savour your season of motherhood

Welcome back to the Refresh Series- a series of posts to refresh and encourage us in motherhood- whether we are in the middle of one season or beginning a new one. 

Year long journals are shipping now, along with calendars to allow you some mental space in the midst of everyday motherhood. You can get free UK shipping on any order with code FREESHIP 

You can read part Part 1 here  and Part 2 here.

Is anyone else guilty of always looking forward to the next thing that will happen or stage that your little one reach, or looking back with nostalgia to the days gone by? It can be really hard to love the here and now when it seems like other people are doing more exciting or glamorous things- or if change is on the horizon or life looks like it will never be different and you feel a bit stuck.

Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side?

The truth is that the grass is always greener where you water it. This can apply to so many areas of life. There are often painful, difficult or challenging times that we walk through- but we can still choose to approach them with grace and hope to grow and learn even through the trials.

What would it look like for us to truly cultivate our lives in the season of motherhood that we are in?

How can we throw aside the things that prevent us from loving the here and now?

Do we have expectations for ourselves which just aren’t realistic for where we are at?

Are we living with no purpose beyond surviving day to day?

Can we embrace the lives and the seasons we are in right now?

the mama book | yearly journal, gift for mom, new mom journal gift

Motherhood can be so full on that there’s not much headspace left to think about these things, but here are some ways to start digging into and savouring this season of motherhood, whatever it is, whether it’s unexpected or not.

Step six: define your season

We touched briefly on this in part one where we named our season- even if it’s just ‘Winter’, recognising that these days won’t last forever is both encouraging and sobering, depending on what your life looks like right now!

So whatever you want to call it- think about what is unique to the stage of life you’re in at the moment, and what the next few months will look like. For me that’s the stages our little ones are in in terms of where they are each day, and which days we are all at home. My husband’s work hours, the winter weather, all of these things affect what our season will look like and the expectations and hopes I can realistically work towards.

Write down all the characteristics of your season- and think about how these things affect your everyday life and what can help you to grow.

Step seven: Make your bucket list for this season

Grab a piece of paper, a printable, or your season bucket list page in The Mama Book and write down some things you’d love to do in the next few months of being a mama.

Savouring the everyday as a mama

Things as simple as a walk in the woods can be high on our bucket list! 

Even if it only contains two or three things- if you’re in a foggy season of newborn snuggles- or really simple things that you know you can manage, it’s so good to have a visible list of things you want to do in the next few months. Having a list of fun things to do, memories to make and experiences to have together helps us to not only do the necessary parts of life as a mama but to invest in connecting with our children and sharing quality time together. From baking something simple to big day trips that you keep putting off, decide what will work for your family right now and prioritise the things you know you can all do and really love together.

 

It can be discouraging to make a huge list of things to do and then to not manage to do many of them- so choose what to write down wisely. If it helps, have another list of ‘not yet’, of things that you’d love to do with your children when they are older, or when the weather is warmer, or whatever it is that means it’s not right for this particular season.

refresh series- savour your season of motherhood | The Mama Book

If you want a printable to have this up somewhere visible you can download this autumn/ winter wellbeing plan in the resources section. Mine is in the kitchen and helps me to stay grounded in the midst of the chaos of meal making!

Put your list up somewhere visible or mark the page in your journal with a bookmark- and plan ahead what you can now to make sure you actually do make time in the busyness that life can be. Make sure to check in on it when you have a free weekend or afternoon, as it’s bound to give you inspiration if you’re not sure what to do next.

Savouring the season we are in as mothers is one of the hardest and yet most joyful things, when we can find ways to do it well. I am so guilty of being distracted or looking forward to the next thing, but right now is where the magic is. These are the days, and I know I want to truly live them whatever my season of motherhood.

purpose in motherhood- mama mission, the mama book

Let me know what your bucket list items are in the comments! I’d love to read them and I’m sure we can all get some ideas from each other too.

Don’t forget you can get free shipping with the code FREESHIP! Make sure you’re feeling refreshed all year with a self care calendar and year long journal to give you mental space through the changing seasons of motherhood. Come back tomorrow for Part Four of our series! 

 

Refresh series- Part 1: Taking stock

Welcome to the Refresh Series- a series of posts to refresh and encourage us in motherhood- whether we are in the middle of one season or beginning a new one. 

Year long journals are shipping now, along with calendars to allow you some mental space in the midst of everyday motherhood. You can get free UK shipping on any order with code FREESHIP 

The New Year is upon us and I’m sure even if you haven’t taken a moment to stop and reflect on the past year of your life you’ll have noticed someone else doing so on social media or online. You might be reading this at a different time of year- but the fact remains that we can all do with some refreshment now and then in motherhood- at least I know I could! In these posts this week we will be walking through some ways to give ourselves the breathing room we need for that and some things to think about wherever we are at in our journey of motherhood.

I can think back and see particular points in my motherhood when I was really overwhelmed and needed to stop, and sit, and allow myself to process life without the distraction of technology, the numbness that can come with watching something or the sweet relief of sleep. As great as all of those things can be in their place, they were stopping me from really looking my life in the eyes, reflecting and planning ahead so that I could enjoy my day to day more than I could when I was just going through the necessary parts of life as a mama.

Perhaps you’ve recently had a baby and you’re making your way through the fog that comes with that.

Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed by the groundhog nature of your daily life.

Perhaps you are struggling to come to terms with how fast time is moving and how quickly your little ones have grown.

Maybe you want to be able to look after yourself better, and others along the way.

Perhaps you are struggling to find joy in the endless the meal making, bedtimes and washing.

Maybe you are on the cusp of a new season of motherhood, or maybe you’re simply feeling the weight of the responsibility that can be laid on our shoulders.

Refresh series - mental space when you're surrounded | the mama book

The thing about motherhood is that there is no ‘right’ way to do it. There are no quick fixes, formulas to follow that will apply 100% to ourselves or to our children. On the whole we aren’t being tested, graded or audited (by anyone but ourselves) and we have to work our way through it hopefully with the support of our families and spouse. It’s a daily process of learning and growing along with our children and doing our best to love and nurture them and ourselves along the way. If we allow it, it can be the most transformative (and challenging) time, but rich with fruit and flourishing along the way, even when we feel like we are walking through the valleys.

But what we will work through in this series is how taking a little time to stop, pause and reflect can help us in our mindset and overflow into our lives.

Make sure you aren’t just thinking about steps as we go along but you actually find somewhere to write them down, whether that’s on a post it note, a notebook or in The Mama Book. You don’t need to have a journal- I love having one space to process all these things but any piece of paper will work to apply to the things we are going through this week. I’m the worst for thinking ‘it’s ok, I can just do it in my head’ but the process of actually writing things and working through it all in writing really helps it to get out of our minds and free up space for living in joy and freedom.

Step 1: Recognise this season.

This doesn’t have to be fancy. Some of us know we are in the newborn stage, or teenage years, but often the shorter changing seasons of school, weather and the rest of it do impact our lives. I know that for us I need to have different focuses and expectations in the winter than in the summer just because of how much time we can or can’t spend outdoors.

Whatever point your life and motherhood is in, it is not going to last forever. I find that both comforting – when bedtimes go awry and challenges come up that I feel will never go away- and sad, because my little ones will never be as little as they are today.

The season you are in is unique, and it won’t happen again, exactly the same. Stopping to look around and see it will help you to be more present and aware of what is going on around you.

How do we take time to pause and reflect on motherhood?

I know that soon my little boy will be at school and my youngest at preschool, so I want to enjoy the time I have while they are at home with me more.

Step 2: Check your heart.

I spent years only periodically addressing how I really was, and that lead to living in denial of struggles I was going through for much longer than was necessary. Truly taking time to address where I was emotionally and mentally is really important. This can be simple- write a list of things that you’re currently feeling… hoping… waiting… excited for… and see what comes out. You might have to be brutally honest with yourself.

Try to think about the different areas of your life, your work- whether that includes housework, paid work, looking after your children, your rest- whether you are taking time to relax and play. Think about different relationships and how you are feeling about those – and not just what you are feeling but what your thoughts are behind that.

Step 3: Count the joys right now.

Think back over the past couple of months and count up all the good things, however tiny. As the year turns it’s easy to think of the big things that have been done and places we have been but the small moments of happiness add up to years full of significance too. Whether it’s baking together, cuddles on the sofa or sharing food together you are sure to find good things.

As we have had fewer weekends as a family this year I’m grateful for the times we have had together and the small moments of growing together at home.

Counting and writing down the good things is so significant because it helps us to shape our mindsets  for the coming days and year. We can recognise things we want to continue to foster in our lives and also things we might otherwise forget.

Acknowledging the season we are in, recognising how we are doing in the middle of everyday life as it stands and picking out those good bits is the first step towards starting fresh whatever life looks like for us right now. Don’t forget to come back for the next part!

 

 

 

 

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